conspiracy!conspiracy!
statues
...............when did our separation begin?
..when could you see where our bodies broke apart like granite,
...........................all of our faults causing the ruin?

i haven't said anything worth remembering in a long time.
then again, what do we have to remember anything for
when we could just make every moment equally good and thus, unmemorable?

not in such a negative way.

this morning i broke down. and i fell a thousand miles.
i realized that no matter what i do, i won't ever be good enough for some people.
or most people.

i'd like to thank you for everything you've never done for me.


JudasAsBlackMoth: christ i need some coffee
pinkgirlrock: i need some puppies
JudasAsBlackMoth: we got a kitty
JudasAsBlackMoth: one day youll meet the right man
pinkgirlrock: i did, but he's a republican
JudasAsBlackMoth: they make the best puppies

i have searched both far and wide.
and i've explored the deepest caverns of my mind
to try and find an explanation why
i get this funny feeling deep inside when you kiss me goodbye
and when i [lick between your thighs] sugar high.
-coyote shivers

yeah. i can't talk to you.

there is this feeling i get when i haven't had enough sleep and everything in the whole world
is beautiful and clean. i wish i could recapture that feeling.

apathy sucks.

this was it

hell yeah.

so now i'm seventeen. do i get a prize?

sigh. i am sure that you'll get around to looking, so here it is: i'm tired. don't you get tired? i just never know what to expect... am i first, am i last, am i even on the list? no idea.
it's nothing personal (ok, so maybe it's personal) but it isn't intended to alienate. we just need to come to conclusions. i know how i feel, but i'm not sure whether this is convenience. i'm not a television to be turned off and on at will. this, dear girl, is more than that...

there are so many things going on that i just can't fuck around with those that can be avoided. i know you don't want to hear my problems, so by all means don't. walk away. stare expressionlessly. do not, however make the mistake of saying something you don't mean (or at least gives the illusion) because the words i've been picking are thought out. just because i don't say anything doesn't mean i don't feel anything.

what can i say? happy birthday to you, too.

oh god this internet romance is killing me.